wait a second
I have an idea —
just add some chia seeds.
name a city in south korea.
listen.
you’re always reminiscing & I
think the remote is missing.
hush.
dont cuss.
where is the damn paintbrush?
goodnight.
it’ll be alright — just don’t
let the bedbugs bite.
when I’m alone
& all the birds have flown, I’ll
draw a teardrop on my cheekbone.
a stone
marks the property line
eighty paces & you’re in
my neighbor’s yard
that’s what the deed would say
if I could find it
it was so long ago we cut down
trees built a fence but now with
the irony of honeysuckle
that fence is falling down
it’s a tiny place nondescript
four rooms & nothing more
there’s a hole somewhere that
lets the carolina wrens in
it’s the third house on the right
you can’t miss it if you pass
the graveyard you went too far
I’ll save you some tea
everything’s fine
I wait for heat
running cold rinsing
brushes so of course paint &
glue stick
rubbing bristles between my
fingers waiting wondering
is the heater broken why
I plan a long complicated
list of fixing things then
it’s fine everything’s
fine
yellow & white
warm & cool
swirl pale together
down the drain
bird
you would think
you would have woken me
but no
you become part of my dream
me running barefoot
chased by the unseen
unable to scream
your low mournful call
a harbinger to fog
and uncertainty
to escape I fall
unendingly
then my hand touches cool
pillow I open my eyes
outside the window you coo
and still
I can’t scream
day seven
this
is when we think it’s
temporary
forsythia is yellow
grackles declare the edges of
territories
I hang clean wet sheets outside
because sun because wind
because —
a squirrel watches me
there’s enough salmon for dinner
and green tea is elderberry
necessary
this is my home I am alone but
crows mob a hawk and she screams
this is when we think it’s
temporary
watching the polygons
when someone pours dad’s old tinker-toy box full of marbles on the roof & they spill down the sides pinging & plunking everywhere just everywhere until we can’t help but laugh even though the car & the windows & our strawberries & oh my the new azaleas
when the sky one-one-thousand flashes & we are caught in stop-action still frames with bette davis eyes until the giants two-one-thousand in heaven start moving their furniture lord that must’ve been a heavy chifferobe & the wind the wind oh my did you hear that wind?
so we sit in a bathtub with flashlights & blankets & our little dog too quiet like mice waiting we’re waiting for
technicolor
taxonomy
we knew it was
a mammal when
fur moved from
field to tree
and even though
there were mixed
fractions we
were distracted
so you went
prowling all of
us howling cat
dog coyote until
it leapt away and
back you came
classification sated
we all waited but you
said nothing knowing
something seeing
order somewhere
between sun and
shade telling us
there is a
species
haibun
I knew the end before she started so I laughed when she said raccoon. have you ever been to sacramento? even in the rain stars look like stars: scratches through a silvered mirror, cake crumbs on a peel-and-stick floor. the day she died I wore blue earrings. did you ever lose your keys? I get distracted by mud: the smell of worms, evidence of animals. I have crawled through the bathroom window and unlocked doors. I have picked up clumps of soaking wet leaves. I have back-tracked. do you ever hear a thing I say? it’s still raining. raining. there’s a raccoon underneath the bird feeder eating all the black-oiled sunflower seeds. a raccoon. did you hear me? I said a raccoon.
a driveway
full of finches; no one
answers the door
paper lizards
after she stumbles we both stop
it’s a tack she says picking up that tiny blue I guess kids are pulling them down she stretches to the top of the board reinserting the construction paper lizards leer and form orange-tongued hisses I nod I get it I understand
there are days when the air is so full so heavy with voices sound words metal simply pops out reptiles fall down little feet crush what gluesticks stuck together it’s hard to hear to feel your own lungs breathe you just walk on
please save all the data to the disk
if there’s a penguin on the tray it’s snowing but no one has coats when the bell rings this isn’t a talking time we are quiet mice yet syllables rise syllables fall consonants and high-pitched vowels melt together on our tongues
the cafeteria will furnish bagged lunches
green papers wave now everyone turn face the building we don’t know we don’t get the message but what does it matter lead us back to our seats to the carpet quickly quietly now everyone sit down now everyone breathe
the last person in closes the door
work
red rover
I dare you to
remember the blue
grass our bare
feet that kid
cooler than we’d
ever be parked
in his trans
am still
waiting on
waiting on
the thunder
remember
those sec-
onds stolen
between
the street
lights and
time it’s time
to go it’s
time
to go home
I
dare
you
I
dare
you
send tommy
right over
(love)
he
loves me
he loves me
not
now
I know those
self-evident truths
of a daisy left
intact
wilma suddenly
laughs
the knife in her hand
heavy with the memory of
meat
once there was water
once there was sun
she remembers
life
is diving down wanting
to drown but the body betrays
it bursts through forcing you
to unwillingly
breathe
carrot cake
I wish that I had
never
you don’t know one-
tenth of all
of this
what will it take for you to trust
what will it take for you to believe
remember when you knew
that fairies live in the mossy
crooks of trees
that lions just can’t wait
to be king
that’s what I mean
when
I tell you the
truth
that’s what I wish for
again
when
you blow out those
candles
departure
by the time you read this, I will have rolled off the cliff and into the sea. when they speak of me, they will speak of a hill. they will speak of a river, thick and slow with its own gravity. they will not understand why the gentle, leveling slope was not enough. they won’t know that since the day I was born, I’ve never been able to capture my own moon.
a knock at the door —
these old bones that just won’t
go
she sighs and says
I left my change
in the machine
she leaves the room
every one of us
makes a sound
resembling this
alternately we
consider the emptiness of our own
zippered pockets
not one of us with an extra dime to spare
being all possible
each day is simple
a lever
a pulley
an inclined plane
when she returns we have all reversed
direction
secret
just a little
bag of ice
he
walked
into another one of
those things
he always
walks
into
just a little
disconnection
avoidance recognition
wait for the silence
to explode
a gunshot cracking
cold
air
he
listens
just a little
deer in the woods his
smile flashes he
grabs my hand wanting
I feel the secret
I wonder does
he know
every
cut
scars
just a little
resistance
again
this weight of
morning
this fog of yesterday’s
dread
but
sound —
a drip
a chirp
a click
and with a hand on the curtain life
breaks through
finally
sun
41
For no reason
at all my little dog
barks so ferociously
he falls off the bed
and I wonder what I’m missing
that I don’t sleep with one
eye open, ready to
defend with my
bared teeth this
space.
40
smoke curls through the window
this is the circle
this is the going-around
old leaves and green wood
on a cold spring night
this is how I hear you
breathing
a stolen cigarette
the silence of lifetimes
I can smell the smoke
this is the circle
this is the going-around
the part I keep holds me down
the world fits between my
fingertips smooth and open
this is how I see you
this is the circle
leaving is always
black and white
if you were a paperback I would
dog-ear your
pages circle
what I want to
remember I would
take you every-
where tucked in my
pocket torn and
breathless
I am cassandra in the tiny chair
she is
unsure of my
presence the whys
the where-
fores lost
in longspouted tea-
pot dregs
she can’t
hear she doesn’t
heed —
oh child be-
ware the rabbit